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This was shared with us by David Donaldson in Orlando


How To Drive In New Jersey

1. First, you must learn how to pronounce Newark....It is New-erk, not New-ark.
(Actually, it's pronounced 'NORK'.)

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is
85 mph. On the Garden State Parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered 'Wussy.'

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Monmouth County , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. EVER. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit "more exciting".

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the homeless feeding on any of these items.

9. Mapquest does not work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do. And all the Turnpike EZ pass lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally activated.'

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
 
Our current inventory of classic cars at a glance:
 
Year
Description
Price
1946 Military Jeep. We have had him before, ( he's the one that had his tub replaced some time in his life ) He has had quite a few upgrades since he was here. He now sports a summer top, new correct shovel, axe and jerry can. Drive line has been rebuilt as well as springs.Show Me More! >>>>
$13,500
1970 NEW Chevrolet Deluxe short box pickup with show quality paint and interior. He is rust free and shows just 70,000 miles that is thought to be actual. Custom upgrades include, 2003 5.3 Vortec engine, 700 overdrive trans, Auburn 2.73 Posi rear end, K&N air intake, New Vintage AC, Custom headers with Flow Master exhaust, Cibi halogen headlights, 275,60 X 15 Toyo Proxie H rated tires, Pioneer remote sound, all this and keyless entry. Show Me More! >>>> $18,500
1971 Ford LTD convertible with all the usual goodies. Most importantly, he has his original factory paint and interior and top while having been 114,000 miles. Obviously someone has loved Ebenezer very much. I know the last owner did because we sold it to him 17 years ago. The 351V8 is quiet and strong. The whole car is tight and smooth. Show Me More! >>>>
$8,950
1977
Chevrolet pickumuptruck. A short bed fleetside with his factory 454V8, air conditioning, automatic, tilt steering wheel, factory AMFM, power steering, power brakes, 93,000 miles on an estate vehicle, he's been babied all his life. Now with a professional repaint in the factory colors over a never rusted,never rodded, never hit cream puff. Show Me More! >>>>
$15,950
1979 SOLD Pontiac Grand Prix SJ in a new coat of lovely black and silver. Original wire wheels with new white wall tires. He sure looks like the 43,000 miles is accurate. New fuel pump, muffler, cruise control unit, hoses, shocks, brake shoes and seals. No rust ever. Show Me More! >>>> $3,950
1983 REDUCED Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz coupe in his original coat of factory black and factory scarlet leather. He's only been 56,000 miles and the overall condition confirms it. Optional level ride and touring suspension are included. Show Me More! >>>
$4,950
1988 Mercedes Benz 560 SL in his original factory unblemished flame red with factory black leather interior. Probably the finest original, never restored 560SL anywhere. 61,000 miles that looks like 6100. Show Me More! >>>> $25,000
1990 BMW 325i convertible in his original color maroon with tan interior. He has leather sports seats, 5 speed, AMFM, cold air conditioning, new tires and top. Never rusted or hit, full original tool kit, first aid kit, self charging flashlight and owners manual, he runs and looks like he has one fifth the indicated 165,000 miles. Show Me More! >>>> $6,950
2004 NEW Chrysler Crossfire. Now I know you all are saying, " What are you guys doing with a car that new?" Well there are two reasons, first Precious has just 16,000 one lady owner miles, looks like 5 or 6 hundred, 3.2 L engine, 5 speed automatic plus all the other whistles and toys. It's about as new a car that you can get for a used car price. Second, nobody has stepped up yet to say that this car would become a collectable. Show Me More! >>>> $13,500
     
 
OTHER STUFF FOR SALE
Raders Relics conversion chart to translate old cars ads language. This is a compendium of a quarter century in the business from personal observations and other publications. In red and black on parchment color, 11X17, suitable for framing to hang in the family room, garage, where ever you like. Samples:
If it says: It really means:
Older restoration Can’t tell it’s been restored
Drive it away I live on top of a hill
Lost storage Neighbors getting up a petition
Uses no oil Just throws it out
And fifty more  

Yours for a pittance at just $12.50 each. Add $3.50 for the mailing tube and postage, any quantity. Your check is acceptable to us. We aren’t set up to take credit cards.
   

ALSO—
HUMOROUS PLEASE DON’T TOUCH SIGNS, 4 " X 5 " , MADE OUT OF STATIC STICK. CAN BE PUT ON GLASS INSIDE OR OUT AND REMOVED AFTER THE SHOW IF YOU LIKE. JUST $3.00 EACH. ADD $2.00 FOR POSTAGE. UP TO TEN SAME POSTAGE.

Coca Cola cooler, 1950, restored, very good. $950
Murray pedal car, 1950s, actually never used. $1100

Mobile oil dispenser. Circa 1940. Very good original, never restored. Full
of bottles. $3500.00

 

Your check is fine. Sorry no credit cards
 
 
 
To visit our antique car showroom in the real world (our new showroom only has room for 10-12 cars so we're not nearly as big a museum as we used to be, but we're still free.) stop by the address below. To visit our virtual classic car showroom which has as many as 12 antique cars for sale click here!
 

1896 Kentucky Ave.
1/2 mile from exit #45 at I-4 and fairbanks,
Winter Park, Florida USA 32789.

Tel: (407) 647-1940 Fax: (407) 647-1930
email: Bob Rader therelic@theraders.net
email: Dick Schoppe cptbuick@mpinet.net

 

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